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Virtual Insanity

Does your date need a twittervention?
Monday Jan 12, 2009.     By Anna Pulley
Centerstage Chicago Nightlife City Guide Arts

I met this guy online. He calls every day or so. Our conversations are great. I feel I've known him for years. However, every time we make plans to see each other he pulls a no-show. Meaning, we will make the plans, he tells me he will call me when he gets home to firm up things, and then no call. What's up with that? He always has an excuse; tired, weather, etc. I asked if he was married or seeing someone, but he tells me no. I am confused. I would drop him like a bad habit if it weren’t for those great conversations. I want to take what started virtually to the next level. What gives? Is he just not that into me?

~Virtual Confusion

It could be a number of things, Virtual. Maybe he's hideously disfigured. Maybe he's trying to recreate "The Truth About Cats and Dogs." Maybe he's an anthropomorphized vacuum cleaner. Regardless of what he's hiding, though, you need to drop him like he's Windows Vista.

I've met people like this guy. Or rather I haven't met them because they're so wrapped up in their online personalities and Second Life wife-swapping parties that they forget what it's like to exist in the real world. These people need a twittervention. Granted, you got your dude to pick up the phone, which is something, but not much. You can't base a relationship on good conversations alone, unless you're a phone-sex operator and the "relationship" in question is actually "$3 a minute."

If you deign to waste more cell-phone minutes and give him one more shot, then call him and make concrete plans right then. Something to the tune of: "Meet me at 8pm at the 7-11 in Boystown, boxed wine section" should do the trick. Of course, this won't shield you from the almighty weather and "I'm fatigued" excuses, but it will shift his lame-o behavior into the Undeniable Asshattery category if he stands you up again.

Anna Pulley, our Carnal Consultant, has been on more bad dates than J. Lo's been to divorce court. She's been a one-date wonder and Wonder Woman. She's bi, and no she doesn't want to sleep with your boyfriend, thanks. When she's not giving advice, she enjoys theme parties for every and any occasion and working as a Carnal Consultant for Early to Bed. Buy her a drink or ask her a question already.

 

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