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Three can be a magic number for all-female couples, too; but how can you find that willing woman?

Monday Aug 18, 2008.     By Anna Pulley

Dating Feed

Dear Consultant,

My girlfriend and I have decided that we want to have an all-girl threesome. But talking about how hot it would be is a lot different than actually going out and snagging us a third. Is it better to ask someone we already know? Or should we go the stranger-in-a-bar route?

Sincerely,
Menage-a-Twat

You're not the only one who's tri-curious, Menage-a-Twat. A recent ABC poll dubbed threesomes the most popular fantasy in the U.S. Coming in at a close second was more reality TV shows starring midgets. Picking up a hot lesbian for three-way action is no more difficult than picking up a hot lesbian alone. Simply head down to the meth lab and ask for "Steve-o." Just kidding, that only works if you're Anne Coulter. But you know what's sad? The internet is awash in advice for guy-girl-girl threesomes, or the "holy grail" as it is referred to in men's magazines and non-denominational churches. However, I could find nothing on all-girl threesomes. Even after scouring countless YouPorn videos that advertised "hot lezzie action," I was no closer to finding the answer I sought. But it DID remind me to trim my nails. Holy potatoes!

If you and your girlfriend have a pool of single friends to draw from, then by all means, start there. As I said last week, what are friends for if not to help you realize your double-penetration fantasies? After you and your girlfriend stake out a claim, put out a subtle threesome vibe by engaging in some promiscuous small talk, volunteering back rubs, engaging her about past sexual experimentation, etc. If she seems receptive, then take it a bit further by inviting her back to your place or casually stroking a horsehair whip while gazing at her backside. References to sandwiches and "Three's Company" should be avoided. The stranger-in-a-bar route can be fun too however, because you can tag-team (just like the WWF, only with more spandex). There are also online personals, which are great for those who want a screening process to weed out the Charlie Sheens and balloon-animal fetishists. Lastly, you can try propositioning the Carnal Consultant at Centerstage. I hear she's into that.

Dear Consultant,

How hard is it to find a nice girl that likes to dabble in a little fun? where do i go to find such a nice girl? can i start with buying ya a beer? :)

The Container Store, Bro. Modular Cubes aisle.

Anna Pulley, our Carnal Consultant, has been on more bad dates than J. Lo's been to divorce court. She's been a one-date wonder and Wonder Woman. She's bi, and no she doesn't want to sleep with your boyfriend, thanks. When she's not giving advice, she enjoys theme parties for every and any occasion and working as a Carnal Consultant for Early to Bed. Buy her a drink or ask her a question already.