Centerstage - Chicago's Original City Guide

Hi Anna! This is the first time I've gone online to ask for this sort of advice. Help: I fell in love with a toxic control-freak exactly one year ago. It ended 20 days ago. Even though I know he was toxic and controlling, it was the best sex of my life, ever. I don't miss him as much as the passion. I'm Italian and extraordinarily passionate. I don't want to find cheap and boring sex. I need something real, real good, to make me get him out of my head.

~Detox

Dear Detox,

Before I give my ethnically diverse man-Rolodex (or Rolopecs, as I call it) a spin, let me first congratulate you on getting out of a toxic relationship. It's not easy, especially when the sex is good, so I salute you from the cowardly safety of my computer. Kudos!

Now then. Some sad facts. Cheap and/or boring sex is often par for the course with one-night stands. It's also the easiest sex to access when you're newly out of a relationship and on the prowl. As fun as one-night stands can be, we can't expect a perfect stranger and a bottle of tequila to lead to sexual bliss every time, unless you are Ricky Martin (Mi vida es loca without you, Ricky!). That said, however, I'm sure there are plenty of strangers who are ready and willing to give your hot Italian self the rebound sex you deserve. If you decide to go that route, post a Craigslist ad with a provocative photo and within an hour, you'll probably have 50 emails from dudes who would "love to get to know you better." If nothing else, it's a great ego booster.

For higher-grade booty, start with people you already know: exes that you are still cordial with, friends you sing karaoke duets with but haven't pursued because you were taken, single coworkers, the hot grocery-bagger at Jewel who always teases you about your purchases. "Whipped cream, pinking shears and seven cans of corn. Big night?"

House parties are better than bars if you're looking for a slightly more meaningful connection, even if it's a friend of a friend's house, because you'll already have something or someone in common. It's easier to talk at parties than in bars as well, since you don't have to compete with the remixed Cascada blaring from the sound system. If you do go to a bar, go on a Sunday or Monday. Why? That glorious invention known as football. Even if the Bears don't score, odds are that you will because men outnumber women heavily on sports nights, and because endorphins are running amok. What better way to celebrate that winning touchdown than with some touching down there? Check out Centerstage's long list of sports bars for an idea of where to go.

Now go forth, my child, and get thee some ass. But do not go gentle into that good one-night stand.